Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize