Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
