That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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