Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
