We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
