I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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