Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
