That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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