he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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