at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
