Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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