so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
