wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
