That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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