I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
