he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
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Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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