Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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