I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
