His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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