Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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