I love black thongs
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
