I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
