So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she peed on how many people?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Im part way to drunk.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
