Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
