And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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