just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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