My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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