Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
