I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
