I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
