now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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