i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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