she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
