My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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