sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She's the barista slut.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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