I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
