All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
