oh god the rape fog is back!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
