I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
