I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
