Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We have started to decorate penises.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
