Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
