I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
