Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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