the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
