I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
