my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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