so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
