This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
