3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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