i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
