fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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