When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
