I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
