Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
