I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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