okay pat passed out under dana's car
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Girls should come with a carfax report
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
